A lot of people say to never look back, but I do. I look back to reflect on all I’ve overcome with God’s will in front of me, beside me, and following me. Twenty Nineteen was a monumental year in that I fought a health scare, I fought for my mother’s life, I excelled in my career, built relationships with some awesome people, and got closer to the ones I love. I traveled to some beautiful places, laughed so hard and so long almost each day even when it seemed like I shouldn’t. I mean I found laughter deep down in my soul. I learned to truly stop caring about the crowd. To let them do their own thing, to move to the beat of my own drum and pray they learn how to move to their own and not to mine. I learned to love me more and the peace I found reached a new level.
MaMa, my late grandmother, would tell me that because God is living and moving through our lives, and though He may not change, we can be certain that we will change in Him. That our understanding will become clearer and all the things we were certain of will begin to take on new meaning in Him. I get that. I am ever evolving into a more beautiful version of myself. I am not stagnant and I am NOT all knowing. I will keep learning, and growing, and changing. 2019 brought me to that realization, though I’ve been here before. But evolution is cyclical. I’ll be here again!
I pray 2020, the year I end my 40th year of life and begin my 41st, I pray it is all I have hope for and more. I’m okay with not having it all. I don’t need it all. I really don’t. I don’t need fame, I don’t need riches though I pray I always have what’s sufficient for me and mine. I don’t need praise, or acceptance. But I pray I can always accept myself and if I can’t, that I can do what’s necessary to get there.
Friends, I pray this New Year feeds your heart, soul and spirit in ways you did not imagine for yourself but in the way it is needed and I pray this prayer for me as well.