The next day could be been labeled mundane. Mundane tasks, mundane people. Keith.
After spending the afternoon remembering what happened in the car following dinner, spending the evening with Keith just seemed like a poor follow-up. With Noah, I always felt the passion between us even when were in denial about it but with Keith I always felt like there was something missing. Honestly I know our relationship was me settling for something safe, something that wouldn’t force me to change, to open up. Keith was content with allowing me to be this person and that was comforting. At least it was for a while.
With Noah, even last night, I felt like he wouldn’t accept the safe, the ordinary; he wanted to bring out the passion inside of me and passion was a dangerous thing. Just ask my mom.
So even though it would be another dull evening, when Keith called to cash in on last night’s rain check, I agreed to go over to his house. He was making dinner for me; chicken fettuccine alfredo- one of his specialties. So once we dispensed with the usual talk about our day he asked the question I was hoping to avoid.
“So what did you do last night?”
“Uh. . . well I went out for dinner last night.” Keith slowed his movements for a moment before stirring his sauce a little more vigorously.
“Oh- who’d you go out with or did you go by yourself?”
“Well that’s the thing; I went to dinner with Noah last night.”
Keith had stopped babying his sauce altogether and turned around so swiftly I worried he’d fall.
“You did what?”
“Let me explain-“
“Yes, please explain.”
“There’s a project in our division. We took bids for it. I’m sure you know about the integration project with training and development.” I waited for him to nod before continuing. “Well he put in a bid and won it. Dinner last night was business since we have to work together on it.”
Keith returned to his sauce and I fiddled with the pearls around my neck hoping he’d say something, anything, that would make me feel better about this crazy excursion I’ve decided to go on.
“You know he’ll want you back, Amara?” He asked the question so softly, I almost didn’t hear him. But I did hear him and knew he was right. Last night in the car proved that. It also proved that I was weak for Noah. I couldn’t even last five minutes in the car before my legs were up on the dashboard and he was fucking me with his talented fingers.
“You don’t know that,” I lied. “Noah is a professional, babe.”
“You know that, right?” He repeated it as if I hadn’t just tried to reassure him. This time he turned and looked me directly into my eyes. His stare was penetrating. It seemed to see through me and the bullshit but I couldn’t break under pressure.
I stared back; my eyes unwavering and responded, “Even if he does, he won’t get it. It’s me and you, Keith and you know that.”
The words tasted bitter on my tongue and were too thick to swallow at first. I’d never told such a boldface lie before and here I was lying to the man that had given me security, that had given me a place to hide when I’d almost allowed a man to make me weak for him.
Keith was a sure thing. Noah was not.
“Well, you remember that when you are spending time working on the project.” And with that he returned to the sauce and to the rest of the meal which was good. It was comfort food.
Comfort because I was familiar with it but there were times I’d like to try something new or eat Thai or Mexican. Keith didn’t like non-American food. When I pointed out that Alfredo sauce was Italian he deftly moved around that and claimed he was steak and potatoes kind of man.
We ate in relative silence and after I cleaned up the kitchen, my responsibility since he cooked, I moved to his bedroom and removed my clothing. I slid under the covers and waited for him to join me there. When he got to me, we kissed, he squeezed by breasts which had been ripe and tender for days now, and then he rubbed my clit until he felt I was wet enough for penetration. He moved in and out of me, gently at first and then rough like he was trying to fuck something out of my system but it was all in vain.
I’d never been able to rid myself of Noah, so Keith had no real chance to either.
I Am Yours
Coming in January
Available for pre-order on Amazon now!